5 Summer Activities to Keep Children Learning

If you suspect that your child is gifted, there are things you can do to to help keep your child thinking and learning during the summer.  We have started keeping a journal of things that Beth does and says that we feel display her aptitude for learning.  We will be able to share this journal with her Kindergarten teacher, to help the teacher determined if Beth should be tested for the Gifted Program at her school.  We also plan activities that will help to keep her busy mind inquisitive and learning throughout the summer. Three months can be a long time for a child to wait to get back to school to learn.

1. Visit as many museums as you can.  Children's museum, art museums, natural science museum, history museums - every chance you get to take your child to a museum, take it.  They may not understand everything in the museum, but you would be surprised at how much they do take and learn from each experience. Even if you only have access to one museum, most museums have a rotating display that changes periodically. If you do not have the ability to get to any museums, look around online. Many museums offer free online virtual tours. The Smithsonian Natural History Museum and the Boston Children's Museum are two that offer free virtual tours. You can also type "museum virtual tour" into your Google search bar and you will see many more museums that can be visited virtually. While it's not exactly the same as walking through the real museum, your child will still get the opportunity to learn new things and see interesting displays.
   
2. Cook with your child.  Following recipes teaches them to read sequentially, to measure, and to follow directions.  Not only will your child learn valuable skills that transfer to math and science, but they may develop a love of cooking, which can serve them well later in life. I like to offer Beth several ingredients that she can choose from to personalize her cooking (for example, different pizza toppings or different candies to mix in cookie dough). As an added bonus, cooking is a great activity to do indoors when there is bad weather (like 106 degree summer days) and everyone gets to eat the delicious results!
   
     
   
3. Visit the zoo or aquarium.  Don't just look at the animals...read the signs, ask the volunteers and zoo keepers to tell you about the animals, their habitats, their diets.  We were lucky enough to visit the San Diego Zoo this summer and the volunteers were wonderful! They were very knowledgeable about the species they were standing near and were excited to tell us all about the animals. We tried to ask volunteers a question at each enclosure we visited. Another thing you can do is take a few books about animals with you and try to read a book while in the vicinity of the animal (Curious George has books about visiting the zoo and the aquarium!).  Reading about elephants is much more interesting if you can look up at a real, live elephant to compare body parts.
   
   
   
   
4. Play with water.  There are lots of fun experiments you can do with water.  And, let's face it, water is a great part of those hot summer days.  One fun activity is to set up several targets in your yard and then get some water guns (any kind will do, although the Super Soaker types are more accurate). Use the water guns to aim at targets and discuss how gravity pulls the water down as it travels, or how the wind blows it.  If you have natural water nearby, visit a pond or stream.  Look for wildlife and talk about life cycles of frogs, insects, etc. If you have the ability, get some jars and try to catch the minnows, insects, or even a tadpole. It is awesome to be able to study wildlife up close before releasing it back into the pond (just please watch out for anything poisonous if you live in an area with those things).
   
5. Watch TV.  I know this one sounds weird, but you have to do it the right way.  For example, today we watched an episode of Nature Cat on PBS that talked about magnets.  Then, I grabbed a few magnets off the refrigerator and we discussed positive and negative charges and played with the magnets and some paperclips.  Beth was fascinated by the way that the magnets attracted on one side and repelled on the other. She played with them for several hours! We also like to watch Alton Brown’s Good Eats show on the Food Network and then bake whatever he teaches about on the show.  His shows are great at teaching the chemistry behind all types of food and cooking. Our favorite is the episode that he explains why soft pretzels come out with a crispy outside and a soft inside (plus we love eating pretzels!).
   

10 Tips for Choosing the Right School for Your Child

Whether we end up with a voucher system or not, there are always choices within the school system that need to be considered.  Most people have public schools, charters, and private schools in their area, and everyone has the option to homeschool… but which is right for your child?  Let's look at ten tips that could help you find the perfect school for your kid(s).

1. Evaluate the different schools in your area.  Are your public schools excellent? Does your district (or surrounding districts) allow transfers?  Many public schools do allow transfers, which could enable you to pick the best public school in your area.
2. What is the transportation situation and what can you provide?  Most private and charter schools do not provide transportation to their campus.  The same goes for public schools that you transfer to.  If you are not attending your home public campus, chances are that you will have to provide transportation to and from school for your child.  Are you able to do that?  Keep in mind that the best school in the world will not do your child any good if you can't get them there.
3. Do you have someone or somewhere to provide after-school childcare?  I don't know about your area, but in mine, Elementary school finishes at 3:00 pm.  My job does not finish by 3:00 pm.  There is no way that I (or my husband) could get to the school daily at 3:00 pm to pick up our daughter.  Luckily, my mom and my aunt can.  Many public schools offer after-school programs, but if you decide to look into Charter and Private options, be sure to look into what is offered for after-school care.
4. Can you afford a Private school?  Not everyone makes enough money to pay for private school.  A good friend, and one of the administrators at our school, also pointed out that we would be better off taking advantage of the excellent free public schools and putting that money in a college account.  If you're not as lucky as we are with your public school system and you can't afford private schools, charters are a great way to go.  As a free alternative to public schools, charters often offer some of the advantages of private schools, without the price tag.  If you want to add ancillary learning to any of your options, see tip #10 about using supplemental materials.
5. Do you have the ability to homeschool? Keep in mind that an adult would need to be available daily to oversee the child(ren) being homeschooled.  There are online curriculums that you can use, so you don't have to be a teacher or expert in all areas to homeschool, but it is best if you have access to a public library and homeschooling group to provide additional resources.
6. If you choose to stay in the public schools, look at any special programs that are offered.  Speak to your child's Principal and teacher right away and inquire about getting them tested for the talented/gifted classes, bilingual programs, or other programs that could increase your child's chances of success.  Often these classes, if your child tests into them, offer additional activities and accelerated learning programs.
7. Research every school that is an option for you.  Most schools provide information on their website about the school demographics, test scores, and state or national rankings.  You can find additional information on websites like GreatSchools, Glassdoor and even Zillow or Yelp.  Look for information on faculty turnover, parent involvement, and communication to parents; important information that is not usually listed on the school website.
8. Talk to parents of children in the schools you are considering.  Most parents are happy to tell you what they like it dislike about the schools their children attend.  They will give you an honest opinion.  But, keep in mind that what you are getting is an opinion... try to talk to several parents so you get some different opinions to compare.
9. Visit the schools you are considered.  Most schools have an “Open House” of sorts for parents of incoming Kindergarteners.  Also look for any public school events, like carnivals or field days that you could attend.  Get a feel for the school community.
10. Another thing to consider, no matter what type of school you choose, are the supplemental programs and resources available.  There are so many programs available that offer tutoring, ancillary practice and other skills.  For example, if you do a Google search for “free printable writing practice”, there are tons of free practice pages you can print.

I often wish that I could stay home and homeschool Beth, just because I think it would be fun.  But, luckily, we live in an area with excellent public schools.  People actually move to our area of the state just for the schools.  We realize that we are extremely lucky and we are excited about Beth starting school in the Fall.

At one point, I actually looked into a private international school, just because I lived in other countries growing up, and would love for Beth to have that experience.  As much as the idea appealed to me, I realized that spending over $1500 a month on an education that would be comparable to the one she could get for free in our public schools was a little silly.  Plus, we can't actually afford that type of expense.  

My husband pointed out that if we put a fraction of that money away in a travel fund, we could give her an international education ourselves, and get family vacations at the same time.  Maybe that will be one of our goals for supplementing her education.  Either way, I know that she will get a good education, mainly because we are willing to work to make sure it happens.

5 ways to teach children about environmental responsibility

1. Teach your child about bees and pollination.  Beth is terrified of bees, but we try hard to teach her about how much bees do for our environment.  We taught her about pollination and how we need the bees to help pollinate flowers to grow fruits and vegetables.  We stop often at flowering trees and bushes to watch the bees collecting pollen.  When we heard about the Cheerios campaign to #BringBackTheBees, we went to their site to sign up to receive free Cheerios wildflower seeds.  Our seeds will arrive in 4-6 weeks and we will go plant them for the bees.

2. We watch National Geographic on TV.  Beth is learning about animals and ecosystems all over the world.  She can tell you which continent each animal comes from and what type of ecosystem it requires.

3. Incorporate some STEM projects and teach your child about alternative energy sources by conducting fun experiments.  You can make s’mores in a simple solar oven.  Simply take a cardboard box and line the inside with aluminum foil.  Next, place your assembled s’mores inside the box and cover the top of the box with plastic wrap (to help good in the heat).  Place your box in direct sunlight with the top of the box propped open at an angle to help direct extra sunlight into your “oven”.  You will be eating a gooey s’mores in no time!  There are lots of fun activities you can do at home using alternative energies.  Just do a search on Google or Pinterest for “alternative energy activities for kids”.

4. Start recycling or build a compost bin and create your own fertilizer.  Bonus points if you use it to create a garden with your child!  You can use a compost to teach your child about reducing waste and recycling.  There are simple compost bins that can be built in a day.  If composing seems like too much work, at least start a recycling bin (if you don't already have one), and teach your child about recycling.  In addition to your regular paper, plastic, etc. recycling bin, we have a battery recycling bin.  We make sure to always put dead batteries in the bin for recycling and take them to a recycling center or our neighborhood recycling day.  Batteries leach horrible tiffin's into the earth when they get sent to the dump.

5. Teach your children about conserving water.  Show them how to turn the water off while they brush their teeth or wash their hands.  I grew up in Arizona, and we had to be ultra water conscious there...in the desert, water is a precious commodity.  We try to make sure that Beth pays attention to water consumption and never leaves the faucet running without being used.

5 Awesome Interactive Books and Learning Activities to Go With Them

1. The best books make us want to read, leave us in anticipation of each page turned.  I remember when I was a kid, there was a book that made that anticipation even greater.  It was called The Monster at the End of This Book and it featured Grover from Sesame Street, imploring me not to turn the page because he was scared of the monster at the end of the book.  I loved turning each page and seeing how it affected Grover, as if my reading the book truly made an impact on the story.  Monster at the End of This Book is an old classic to me.  I am so happy to see that same excitement in our four-year-old daughter, Beth, when we read some of the new interactive books that have come out.  One word of warning: do NOT read these books before bedtime! We learned this one the hard way… she got so excited by the books that she was up for hours.  These books are much better for a morning or early afternoon storytime.

2 & 3.  Beth’s favorites are by the author Herve Tullet.  He has several books published; we own Mix It Up and Press Here.  They are both fantastic and encourage the reader to interact with colored dots.  In Press Here, the reader has to tap, shake and move colored dots by tapping on the correct colors.  Mix It Up has the reader mix colors by rubbing, shaking and squeezing the pages of the book.  Beth can barely contain herself as we move from page to page.  It was from reading these two books that she knew by age three that mixing blue and yellow makes green, blue and red makes purple, and red and yellow makes orange.  But, why leave it to the books to have all the fun?  Grab some paper and paints (finger prints work really well!) and try to recreate the pages of the books.  Try giving your child only the three primary colors and ask them to make purple and orange flowers.  Watch them apply the skills they have learned from the books to mix their own colors.  

4. The next interactive book we got is called Tap the Magic Tree, by Christie Matheson.  This one is another gem.  Readers are asked to wiggle, jiggle and tap the pages to help a lonely tree change through the seasons.  Beth knew all about the seasons before she had ever seen snow, because of reading this book with her.  The illustrations are also beautiful.  After reading this book, it is really fun to do a seasons tree chart.  Get a large piece of paper and draw it into quarters.  In each quarter, draw a “naked” tree (with no leaves).  You will need cotton balls, a package of m&m’s, 1 piece of green construction paper (turn into pieces), and pink or purple paint.  The first tree (Winter) gets covered in chitin ball “snow”.  The second tree (Spring) gets pink or purple thumbprint flowers.  The third tree (summer) gets green construction paper leaves.  The fourth tree (Fall) gets red, orange, yellow, and brown m&m leaves on its branches and on the ground.

5. The last interactive book I love is interactive, not in actions, but in words.  If you have never read The Book With No Pictures, by b.j. Novak, you are in for a treat.  As the title implies, this book does not have a single picture...but it doesn’t need them.  The words themselves are so interactive that Beth started to recognize certain words and yell them out when we got to them.  A fun activity for this book is to choose a page and ask your child to draw a picture for the page.  You might be surprised by what they draw.  You can also play a fun game by individually writing some of your child's’ favorite words from this book on notecards.  Then, start by having your child pick the cards and hold them up for you to read.  After a while of playing this game, you start picking the cards and holding them up for your child to read.  You will be surprised at how fast they start to recognize these words as sight words and are able to read them.

There are many interactive books out there, but these are our favorites.  If you have other favorites please share them in the comments of the blog.   If you have an activity to go with it, we would love to hear about that, too, or if you would like for us to create a lesson type activity to go with your favorite book, let us know in the comments...we love to design learning activities!

3-2-1 Baking and Learning

Several years ago my mom introduced me to the 3-2-1 Cupcake.  She got the recipe from a Weight Watchers meeting, but I have no idea where it originated.  All that really matters to me is that it is easy, delicious, and my four-year-old daughter loves to make them.  Plus, she learns all kinds of skills while she makes them.  This makes me very happy. This especially makes me happy when we have rainy or cold weather and need something fun to keep her occupied.

The premise of the 3-2-1 Cupcake is super simple:

3 - tablespoons of box cake mix (any flavor - Beth likes vanilla and strawberry best)

2 - tablespoons of water - mix well

1 -  minute in the microwave

Viola!  A fresh cupcake!  The best part is that Beth makes her own.  She has learned to count the numbers of tablespoons, how to measure and lift the cake mix gently out of the bag without spilling it, how to mix the water with the dry ingredients, and how to set the microwave to 1 minute.  We also talk about how the heat makes the ingredients cook and rise.  These are all skills that will translate to school when she starts, as well as being excellent real-life skills.

Once Beth had mastered the 3-2-1 Cupcake, we moved on to making cookies.  I will admit that I don’t have a lot of free time,  so we often use the prepackaged bags of cookie mix and doctor them up a little.  It would be more beneficial to have Beth measure out all the ingredients, but that is a task we save for rainy weekends.  Either way, she has learned a lot from helping me make cookies.  She  is very good at counting and cracking the eggs for me, she knows how to turn on the mixer and  keep her hands away from  it while it is running, she can scoop and measure the cookie dough, and she is a world-class cookie dough eater.  

We normally add a few extra ingredients to the mix, just to personalize it a little and give Beth more of an opportunity to measure out and add ingredients.  I  like to add a half cup of chocolate chips or dried cranberries (depending on the style of cookie we are making) and a teaspoon of Mexican vanilla (makes everything taste better!).  We usually share the task of measuring and scooping the dough...Beth does the first 12 and then I finish it.  Her little hands just aren’t strong enough to work the dough scoop for more than a dozen scoops. Sometimes she misses the mark and puts a cookie too close to the edge. They come out with a flat side, but we like to sing the Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood song about how things still taste good, even if they don't look exactly like you want.

Baking can also be a fun chemistry lesson.  I’m not a chemistry teacher, and Beth is only four, so I simplify the process as much as I can.  We talk a lot about how when air gets hot, it gets bigger and rises (that’s what makes a hot air balloon work).  We also talk about yeast, and how it is a teeny tiny microbe that produces different gasses that get bigger as they get hot (just like blowing up a balloon).  As the air in the oven gets hotter and heats the cookie dough, all those gases get released inside the dough and make it get puffy.  That’s why we have to leave space between cookies and why the cookies puff up as they cook.  It’s also why the cookies sometimes fall back down as they cool  off after we take them out of the oven...the gasses inside cool back down, too.

If you haven't already, try some simple baking projects with your kids. They will learn science and life skills, and everyone will get a delicious treat!

Teaching Science with Valentine's Day Cards

It's almost Valentine's Day!  My husband and I basically ignore the holiday with each other (other than one tradition), but my family likes to exchange cards.  (James and I have a tradition that the day after Valentine's Day, we go out and buy the biggest box of chocolates we can find, for half price, and share them for dessert the rest of the month.)  With the rest of my family, we realized when our daughter turned two that we had hit the jackpot; no more handing our money to Hallmark, because we have a little card-crafter right here in the house.

So, every Valentine's Day, we set our daughter up at the kitchen table with blank cardstock, a pile of heart stickers, some pink and red markers, and let her go to town.  Cards for everyone! Yay! This year, Beth learned that if you write on pink paper with a pink marker, it doesn't show up. I got to explain contrasting colors to her, and she subsequently chose a purple marker.

Last year we tried glitter glue, but it was slightly disastrous (note: three is still too young for glitter glue).  This year, she could probably handle the glitter glue, but it has gone MIA somewhere in the “craft room” (seriously, don't try to go in there… It might swallow you and we wouldn't even know where to start looking).  Besides, stickers are the best.  She loves putting them on, they are fairly tidy, and we somehow have a never-ending supply of them.  (Where do all those stickers come from?)

We also spent some quality time together this weekend, getting cards and candy ready to take to Beth's class at preschool.  She was so excited to help put the cards and candy together.

Next year, when Beth is a little older, I have a fantastic Valentine's craft to do with her.  I have students in my library make light up Valentine's cards.  They love it, and actually learn some science while they're at it.  I can't wait to try it with Beth and I'm sure my family will be impressed with the results.

Here is how we do it.  They are fairly easy to make and all the supplies can be found on Amazon, in Hobby Lobby, or even at the dollar store.  All you need are the following supplies:

• Cardstock
• Markers, stickers, decorations, etc.
• Copper tape (¼”)
• Scotch tape
• Mini LED bulb (surface mount)
• Coin cell battery (3v Lithium)

To create the card, there are just a few steps.

1. First, fold your paper to the size card you want and draw or decorate the front.  When you are done, on the inside, draw a simple parallel circuit with the LED bulb in the location you want to light up.  You will need to have two pics of copper tape running from the battery to the LED; one too each “leg” of the LED.
   
   
   
2. Place the two pieces of copper tape on the lines you drew between the LED and the battery.
3. Tape a piece of copper tape face down to the battery, then tape the battery to the copper tape that is attached to the card (you are making a sandwich of the battery between copper tape). The piece of copper tape that is face down on the battery needs to reach to the other piece of copper tape on your card. This is the on/off "switch".
4. Bend the legs of the LED out flat and tape the LED so that each leg is touching one of the copper tape pieces.  Test the LED.  If it didn't work, turn it 180 degrees, so that the legs are facing the opposite way.  LEDs have one negative and one positive leg and they have to be on the correct side.  To make the LED work the best, take a small piece of copper tape and tape it face down over the leg of the LED to hold the contract in place.
   
5. Cut a small hole in the front of your card where the LED can poke through, and write “Press Here” above your "switch".  If your "switch" needs some extra space to stop it from being on all the time, I found that creating two springs from two strips of cardstock crisscrossed over each other (photo below) can help lift the card so it is not pressing on the copper tape and activating the card.  Glue or tape a spring on either side of the "switch".
   
   Once you have done that, you can glue the card together.
   
   
   
   
6. Give someone your awesome card and watch them smile.

10 Ways Board Games Boost Your Child's Intelligence

1. Want your child to excel in math?  Studies have shown that playing numerical board games can increase a child's numeric knowledge in as few as four 15-minute sessions.  This includes games like Sequence for Kids and Hi Ho Cherry-O.  Try playing Monopoly and make your child run the bank.  They will learn how to count by multiples of 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100.  They will learn basic addition skills in order to make change.  If you want to increase your child's math skills even further, there are several fun additional games that you can try.   Once they are ready to start adding, there are several excellent games like Gopher It, Hive, and 7 Ate 9 that kids love to play and that require players to apply math skills while they are playing.
2. Build critical thinking skills by playing a game of Connect Four or Four in a Row.  Watch your child think and strategize as they try to get those four tokens in a row before you do.  They have to use skills like prediction and thinking ahead.  Once your child is playing well with a simple strategy game like Four in a Row, you can move on to more difficult strategy games like Battleship or Guess Who.  As they get even older, there are some fantastic strategy games that the adults will enjoy as well, like Catan Junior.
3. Playing multi-player games teaches patience.  We were playing a game of Candyland the other day and it was killing our four-year-old to have to wait her turn.  We let her have the task of handing the spinner to each player as their turn came up.  I think that was the only thing stopping her from jumping in early for her turn each time around.  By the end of the game I noticed that she was waiting her turn with a lot more patience than at the beginning of the game.
   
4. Board games can help teach your child how to win or lose gracefully.  We try to emphasize that playing games is about having fun with family and friends, rather than about who wins the game.  In this day and age, it seems that kids rarely have to deal with failure.  Board games are a nice way to teach your child how to handle losing graciously.  Especially since you can always play another game and give them an opportunity to improve.
5. Most board games will assist in building your child's memory.  Obviously, playing matching games will help build memory, but almost any board game can help.  Think about the instructions.  There are very few board games that don't include a list of rules for play.  Pick up a game of Uno or Go Fish.  While your child is playing, they are having to constantly recall the rules of the game and ensure that they, and other players, are adhering to them.
6. Teach cooperative skills by playing games that require teamwork.  Games like Max, Race To the Treasure, or Pictionary Junior, teach kids to play with their teammates.  These games can help kids that are shy to make friends and come out of their shell.  We are especially interested in these types of games for our only child.  Any time her cousins or friends visit, we try to incorporate cooperative games.
7. Are you ready to start training that surgeon? How about working on some hand-eye coordination? Games like Operation and Jenga will teach your child to be patient and steady as they try to win the game.  These two might take some time to master, but your child will have a sense of satisfaction once they finally learn to effectively use their hands.  It's also fun to throw in a little biology and explain why their hands are more still when they hold their breath.
8. Games like Clue Junior and Guess Who can introduce the skill of deduction.  As children try to use the clues to solve the mystery, they are cataloging and organizing information in their minds.  These skills will translate to critical thinking skills that will benefit them as they begin school.
9. Even as young as four, your child can start learning basic geography by playing games like Ticket to Ride: First Journey.  In this simplified version of the adult game, kids follow rail lines throughout the United States and learn the location of key cities in several states.  Our four-year-old loves to look at maps of any kind.  If there is a map on the wall, we have to stop and look at it.  With this game, she gets to actually interact with the map, and hopefully learn the basic locations of several cities and states.
10. Last, but not least, playing board games teaches your child to enjoy family time.  Let's face it, it's not always easy to power down and spend time as a family.  We are all busy, working, going to school, attending gymnastics lessons and dance and golf lessons and swim lessons…the list goes on and on.  And then, there's all the day to day stuff to fit in…packing lunches, making dinner, baths, homework.  I understand.  But, when you have 30 minutes on a weekend, try turning off the TV or tablet, and sitting at the table together as a family, for a quick game or two.  Trust me.  This will teach your child more than you know about relationships, cooperation, and love.

Learning by Magic

When my brother and I were very young, my dad was deployed to Korea with the Air Force for 18 months, leaving my mom at home in a new city with an 18-month-old and a four-year-old.  A few days after my dad left, the neighbors came by to introduce themselves.  Their names were Jim and Coral and they were nearly the same age as my grandparents.  They had children about the age of my mom and dad, and grandchildren near the age of my brother and me, but they all lived out of town.  Jim had just been discharged from the Air Force after severing his index finger on duty.  They were unable to reattach it.  He offered to come over the next morning and have coffee with my mom  and help watch us kids.

Over the next weeks and months, Jim came over every morning.  He always greeted my brother with,  “Hey, Buddy!” and a hug. Before long, my brother started calling him Buddy.  He has been Buddy to us ever since.  Being a former engineer, Buddy became the one who could fix anything.  If one of my brother’s toys broke, Buddy fixed it.  Flat tire on the wagon; Buddy fixed it.  All my brother had to do was toddle up with his tiny hand outstretched and ask, “Buddy fix?” and Buddy fixed it.

After going to a little carnival one weekend, my brother came home with a goldfish he had won at a booth.  My mom  bought a bowl and some marbles for the bottom and we poured the goldfish into his new home.  The next morning, the goldfish was “sleeping” upside down.  My brother pulled Buddy into the house as soon as he entered the door and dragged him  over to the bowl.  “Buddy fix?”, he asked, his bright blue eyes staring up at Buddy in complete trust.  Buddy told him he needed to take the fish home to “fix it” and disappeared with the bowl.  About an hour later, he brought the fish back, magically all better.  By the afternoon, the fish was “sleeping” again.  Once again, Buddy “fixed” it.  By the next morning, we had a “sleeping” fish for the third time.  Buddy took the fish away to “fix”, worked his magic, and returned with it all better.  At this point, he quietly pulled my mom aside and told her that the people at the pet store had explained that you have to put de-chlorination drops in the fish’s water, and handed her a small bottle of drops.  The fish didn’t “fall asleep” again.  We had been lucky to have such a wonderful friend and a pet store nearby!

So, fast forward about 35 years.  We would really like for Beth to understand where food comes from.  Being four seems the perfect age to start a garden and teach her how to take care of the plants and how the plant life cycle works.  My mom has been wanting a garden and Beth stays with my mom three days a week, so this seemed like the perfect project for them to work on.  My mom went out and bought a big metal water trough and bags of potting soil.  She and Beth chose some seeds to plant - carrots, green beans, and basil.  They planted their garden in August and started caring for it.  The plants were doing beautifully and it wasn’t long until they had a virtual forest of plants growing all over the trough.  The beans were crawling up the trellis my mom had placed there, and the basil and carrots were growing daily.

Every day, my mom took Beth out to check on the garden.  She taught her how to check the soil for moisture and how to give the plants a drink when the soil was dry.  They pulled any weeds that tried to grow and sprayed the leaves with organic bug deterrent when something started eating the plants.  Beth took her job very seriously and took excellent care of the plants.

Somehow, though, although the carrots were growing tall, leafy tops, there were no orange carrots underneath.  After a few months, my mom checked them to see if they were ready for Beth to harvest and found tiny, little half-inch carrots at the bottom of 18 inch stalks.  Thinking quickly and remembering Buddy and the goldfish, my mom waited until Beth was at preschool, and drove to the nearby grocery store.  She bought a bunch of organic carrots with the leafy tops attached, hurried home and buried them in the garden where the failed carrots had been.  When Beth got home from school, my mom  invited her to pick “her carrots”.  Beth was delighted to see how her hard work had paid off!

My mom may have cheated a little, but to us, it was more important that Beth have the experience of working hard and being successful at something.  She will try even harder the next time we give her a project, because she will feel that she can be successful.  One of our biggest goals as parents (and educators) is to instill in our children a desire to try hard, persevere through to the end of a project, and enjoy being successful and learning as they go.  Sometimes it just takes a little magic to make that happen.

Discipline and the Intelligent Child

This is a topic that my husband and I discuss at length, sometimes late into the night.  How do you discipline an intelligent child?  We agreed long before she was born that we would never use any form of violence...no spanking, no swatting.  Studies show that violence teaches violence and we want Beth to understand that violence is never the answer to any question.  If we want peace in the world, we need to teach children that the best way to resolve a disagreement is through discussion, open-mindedness, and mutual understanding, not violence.  So, we agreed when Beth was born that we would use the “Time-Out” method of discipline.  

Time-Out gives Beth some quiet time to rethink and understand her actions (or lack thereof) and think about her choices.  We are very big on choices.  My husband is very good, both with his students and Beth, about discussing how choices can affect people and can have consequences.  (He says every Friday to his classes of high school Seniors, “Have fun, be safe, and make good choices!”)  He always stops Beth, before she does something wrong like throwing a toy, and calmly asks her, “Is throwing Elmo a good choice or a bad choice?”.  He explains that throwing the toy will not accomplish anything, will not fix the problem,and might break the toy.  Then he explains that the good choice is to ask for help or put the toy away, or whatever the appropriate thing to do happens to be.  Nine time out of ten, Beth calms down and makes the good choice.

The problem occurs when we get one of those one-out-of-ten situations.  Like when Beth was three and got upset that I wouldn’t let her play another game before dinner.  In frustration, she tried to hit me.  I stepped out of reach, but recognized what she had done.  She was sent to Time-Out for three minutes (remember their attention span is only as many minutes as they are years old, so three minutes for a three-year-old).  Time-Out means she has to sit on the love-seat in her bedroom all by herself without any toys.  

We hover outside her bedroom door the whole time she is in Time-Out, ready to rush in if she gets too upset.  In this particular instance, she was fine.  At the end of the three minutes, we went in to talk with her.  My husband, James, crouched down and looked Beth in the eye.  “I want to know if you know why you have been in Time-Out?” he asked.  Beth replied, “What I want to know is, why is this couch so comfortable?!?”  Her delivery was impeccable.  I completely lost it.  I had to put my head down on the couch, I was laughing so hard.  My whole body was shaking, and tears of silent laughter were raining from my eyes.  I have no idea how James kept a straight face, but he very calmly put a hand on my back and said, “See, Beth, you’re making Mommy sad because you don’t feel bad about trying to hit her.”  I finally pulled myself together and lifted my head.  Beth, upon seeing the tears rolling down my cheeks, got sad and apologised.  I told her that I was upset that she tried to hit me, but that I forgave her  We hugged her and went off to dinner.  I’m not saying guilt is the best tool to use, but I am glad it worked that time.  I really have no idea how I would have handled the situation by myself, or what we would have done had James not thought so quickly.  I mean, obviously, Beth had been thinking while in Time-Out, but definitely not about what we needed her to think about.

We had another similar situation this evening.  As a four-year-old, Beth has been having trouble “turning on her listening ears” and ignores us the first two or ten times we ask her to do something (especially something she doesn’t want to do, like take a bath).  She had been asked four times to please go to her bathroom and start getting ready for bath.  When she ignored my husband for the fifth time, he finally looked at her and said, “Beth!  I don’t know what to do to make you listen.  What will help you listen better?!?”  Beth enthusiastically replied, “Cheese!!!”  Once again, I failed in my duties of being the adult and had to dive behind the kitchen counter to hide my laughter.  My husband glared at me over the counter while explaining to Beth that we were not going to give her cheese to make her listen to us.

My mom, who was a Kindergarten teacher before she retired, told me that we needed to try rewarding the good behavior, rather than always punishing bad behavior.  We have tried a sticker chart for good behavior, and it worked to a point.  As long as we were at home, and could give her the sticker immediately, the sticker chart was great.  But, when we were out in public and didn’t have the chart nearby, or when my aunt is watching her, the sticker chart just wasn’t as appealing.  So far, the only thing that really worked for us was using Santa Claus as leverage from about Halloween through Christmas.  It wasn’t something I was especially proud of, but one mention of having to send Santa a message and tell him Beth wasn’t being good this year, and she was perfect.  Too bad we can’t use Santa all year round!

Sometimes I am at a complete loss on how to deal with this child.  She is so intelligent that most of the time we can reason with her like we would an adult and she understands and responds correctly.  I think that might be what makes it more difficult when she actually acts her age and throws a tantrum or acts out like a four-year-old.  Our biggest challenge right now is listening to instructions and doing things the first (or even second or third) time we ask.  I don’t know how many more times we can ask her not to use the sofa as a trampoline.  If you have a magical trick that works, please leave it in the comments!  We would love to hear what works for other intelligent kids.  What do you do to discipline your intelligent child in a way that they understand and learn?